Weekly Guiding Teacher Reflection

Dear Common Ground Friends,

Desire is a natural and unavoidable part of being human. The impersonal force of desire that moves through us helps us take care of ourselves in important ways. Much like the way plants orient toward the sun, moving toward what is nourishing is natural. The predicament we find ourselves in is not that our minds desire, but that we take desire personally. We can learn to have an intuitive sense of how natural and useful desire can be, while also learning to recognize the constriction of self-centered desire and its drawbacks. For example, not feeling good enough is a common human experience. Our minds at times can operate with the assumption that we are inherently deficient in some important ways. What feels like “good enough” can become a moving target. In our attempt to be happy, we can miss the fact that the mind is simply caught in craving to become and instead believe that as soon as we become the person we want to be, we will finally be okay. We imagine that becoming who we should be will bring the satisfaction we are looking for. Craving, however, promises what it cannot, in any lasting way, deliver.

An important discovery when the mind is settled is that craving arises and passes away on its own. Its ceasing is not dependent on gratification. Desire, when misunderstood, can lead to unhealthy patterns such as self-aversion. But when met with care, even the experience of intense craving can become an opportunity for freedom. What happens when we notice the desire to be different and simply allow it to be here? Can we appreciate, even briefly, that nothing needs to be added or changed for this moment to be complete?

Warmly,
Shelly Graf
Co-Guiding Teacher